Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I just thought I share at the moment my feelings about a friend in my circle of friends that turned 50 on Saturday.....



A day to celebrate 50 years Old.....A milestone.... one would gather with friends and celebrate ...pop open a bottle of champagne...and be merry!


She grew from a little child into a Mature woman ....In her twenties she married a wonderful man who ...both adore each other...2 siblings followed...and they are her greatest Treasures...She is a good looking ....had a great job ...a beautiful house and a loving family...A couple of years ago her son got married to this gorgeous girl..Her parents and siblings are still alive but they all live overseas! By now you are all saying what a wonderful story....we should hear more of this more often...We need to hear this....I think you all agree!

Well just over a year ago on Valentine's Day to be exact last year......after a period of test which took over six weeks to diagnose as at first the doctor's thought it was some sort of allergy....(as she was itchy a lot)... she was diagnosed with Liver Cancer (apparently when the liver is not functioning properly the body automatically try and release any toxin through the skin)...To cut  it short...as you can imagine it was a shock to all of them ...she was operated ....and had chemo.
Once stage she was on the mend....but in the last 6 months she was getting worse and worse. From a beautiful lady she was on the outside (as she still is on the inside)...she started transforming into a different image....Easter weekend she ended back in Hospital and her family was told the terrible news...that the cancer has spread badly and that she has not long to live...days or weeks perhaps...
Her Son and wife are expecting their first child in September.... great news especially becoming a grandparent for the first time..........

On Sunday we went to see her for a short while, after which we were invited for a get together with friends...

When we go to see her...we have to find inner strength to be supportive to her and her family...

As one can imagine what a roller coaster their life is at the moment...Obviously she had to stop working and apart from that her husband and daughter who is the same age as my daughter...both had to shorten their hours of work to be with her ....lately they had to sell their house so they can move into something smaller as funds are getting harder....

How one life’s change in an instant...

When we went to see our other friends for our gathering...some said...oh I cannot handle to go and see her...

I feel I am judging people....perhaps I have to respect their feelings as well!

I cannot bear to see her like that neither...but cannot one forget for a moment what he is feeling ...how bad it makes him or her feel and think of the poor person who is struggling from day to day probably not even capable to look at themselves in the mirror (as they will not recognise themselves)....cannot even feed themselves ....or do simple everyday things that we take for granted...like washing ourselves etc..

If you look at this person’s eyes you see the same person that you knew healthy and outgoing not very long ago...a person who  is struggling to keep living  and perhaps even hope for a recovery, or to even have the opportunity to see her first Grandchild...

I felt like writing this to share and open other people’s eyes ...Forget about what you are feeling! Be there for a friend or family when they are going through rough times ....we can all be in a similar situation and I am sure we would need all the support that we can find...

On a positive note...I am thrilled to see this family so united and caring for each other! In one of the conversations we had ...she was going on ...how she wished she had the strength to go and buy things for her new grandchild...I suggested without making it obvious...how about when you go home you organise a small box with special  mementos that you would like your Grandchild to treasure !

                                                            

I started this on Sunday.......today we just received the news that she might leave us tonight.....God Bless my friend......................................


Continues here....

10 comments:

SquiggleMum said...

Thoughts and prayers. xx

Romantic Flair Original said...

Thank you....

Wanderlust said...

Marthese, what a sad and heartfelt post. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I lost my mom to liver cancer 17 years ago and have written about it as well. xx

Lauren said...

What a blessing family and friends are -- may we treasure them while we can!

Be A Fun Mum said...

I too, lost my Mum four years ago to cancer. It's a tough journey of grief, one I'm still struggling with. Praying for you right now.

Romantic Flair Original said...

Thank you gorgeous people for stopping by...I think by sharing and listening to someone's hurt we carry each other along...

Veronica Foale said...

We found the same thing when Nan was fighting cancer, a lot of people we expected support from just weren't there. It was hard.

I am so sorry for your loss.

xx

A Cajun Down Under said...

So sorry for your loss. It is so awful to lose a loved one, but I hope you take comfort in your memories of her. I admire you for posting such a personal and heartfelt tribute to your friend and all that loved her.

Ash said...

Dear Marthese, I'm so sorry to hear about your dear friend, but so glad that she has you as a friend. What a beautiful, heartfelt post.

Brenda said...

Hugs to you Marthese.xx

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